Forever Isn't Always Forever
by ryan91
Summary: The shock of a discovery caused her to leave. He grieved her loss and she grieved the loss of two. The hardships they faced and the baby she loved. Will fate throw them together once again? Ryrissa
1. The Death of My Life

Ryan. Marissa.

The names just fit together, always has, always will. At least that's what he thought. He remembered what happened so clearly. Sometime he just wished he could forget.

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Flashback

Marissa had a nervous feeling in the pit of her stomach. Her life had changed because of the mistake of two young and in love teenagers. She might not have a successful future ahead of her but Ryan could. Her leaving would be the best for both of them. He could live the life he deserved and she could leave and look after their unborn child. The one that wouldn't have a father.

Marissa awoke to the sight of a ruffled, sleeping Ryan beside her. Her heart dropped tothink that she had to leave him, but it was for the best. His eyes lazily opened and his mouth broke into a slight smile.

"Morning" Ryanmurmered still smiling.

"Morning" Marissa said gazing into his eyes.

Marissa sat up and rubbed her eyes, "Ryan, I got to go."

"Why? Do you have to?"

"Ya, I have something I need to do"

"Well I'll see you later, right?"

Marissa didnt reply insted she answered, "Goodbye, I love you."

"I love you too, bye."

Walking out of the poolhouse door she whispered, "Goodbye...Forever"

End of Flashback

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Marissa gazed the silent and serene graveyard, sitting on the grass as she did everyday…five years had past since she left and her heart broke every time she though of Ryan and the baby. The baby she lost. She stared at the grave shaped as baby booties and the blue teddy laying on the ground.

_Jack Atwood_

_November 17 2005_

_My baby. My son. My hopes. My life._

The silence of Jack's birth tore her apart. He was stillborn and didnt deserve what fate had planned for him. The silence of the graveyard caused her to fall to the ground and weap. Weap for the unfairness of life. The death of an innocent and the longing of a loved one.

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Ryan thoughts were broken by the sudden shrill of a telephone. After a few listening to the grave words spoken. He bowed his head down and a tear slipped down his cheek. It was Trey. He moved to New York and was involved in a car crash. He died. The last part of his family was now gone forever. Forever. Isn't. Always. Forever. But for Trey it was.


	2. The Silence of New York

Disclaimer: I do not own the O.C

I know I went kind of fast...and thanks for your reviews but I am selfish i WANT more

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Ryan squirmed in his business class seat. Sure he was supposed to be as comfortable as ever but not only was he going to arrange the funeral of his brother but he had that feeling in the pit of his stomach. The one when you know something big and exciting is going to happen and that makes you nervous. His stomach churned again...Maybe the heights had something to do with it. We wished Seth could have come with him but he had a lot of work and needed to be with Summer because she was expecting and made Cohen swear to never leave her side. The horomones. The both of them, however, and Sandy and Kirsten would be meeting Ryan there in a few days. The plane lurched down and the drowning voice came on to the speaker. They were landing.

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Marissa sat in the graveyard, as she did everyday, thinking about Jack, Ryan and life in general, when a plane in the distance sailed through the sky. She imagined Ryan on the plane looking down on her. But she couldn't. "You can't imagine the impossible," she whispered.

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As soon as Ryan landed he looked for his name in the midst of all the signs bearing identification and finally found his. He went to his hotel and marveled at the largeness of it. He quickly took a shower in his vast room and went downstairs. He only had a few days and he had to organize Trey's funeral and burial as fast as possible.

He came across a tall man dressed in a black suit with dull brown hairand white fading through it.

"Mr.RobertHughes?" Ryan asked polietly.

The man nodded and smiled extending his arm, "Nice to meet you,Ryan. Why don't we go to the lounge and sit down?"

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"Well I understand that you are planning to hold a funeral for your brother, Trey Atwood?"

"Yes, I would like to talk about locations for the burial. I don't think Trey would want to be buried in Newport or Chino, but rather the place where he had a better life. So I plan to arrange his burial here, in New York, but I don't live here, so I am not sure of the places I can choose from."

"Actually," Mr.Hughes answered, "in this area we have a well-known graveyard, but if you decided against it, we will have to talk about transportation to other graveyards, which are quite far away."

"Do you think you can take me to..."

"Valley Tree Graveyard" Mr.Hughes filled in. "Sure, let's grab a cab."

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Mr Hughes broke the silence, while waking through the very large graveyard, filled with hills, trees and roses, "When you first called me and arranged to meet me. I thought you might like this place. So I did my reasearch, to find if there other familys buried here by the name of Atwood."

"Actually, I don't have any other family here."

"I found a match, Jack Atwood. Does that sound familar?"


	3. The Fantasy of What Could've Been

Thanks SO much for you REVIEWS!

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"Jack. Jack Atwood." A confused look clouded his face. "I've never heard the name before."

"Are you sure? Would you like me to take you to his grave, see if you can figure out if he is related to you or not."

They walked silently up the and around graves. Thier silence had a purpose. Mr.Hughes was wondering if he did something wrong by bringing up this unfamilar name and Ryan well, he was thinking. Just thinking. His imagination went wild; all types of different situtations involivng himself ran through his mind.

They walked over the small grassy hills listening to the melodic silence.

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In the distance, a lone figure sat with her knees to her chest. Wondering what could've been. When you lose someone, especially a child,that is all that you think about. What could've been. It was so clear in her head. A quiet and cheery baby boy, a light sheet of blond hair and striking blue eyes. Pudgy little toes taking their first steps. Chubby little cheeks and little pouty red mouths whispering thier first word. A child, clinging to thier mother in the safety of their house. Then acting independent when with their friends. A teenager, having his first kiss. First heartbreak. A young adult. Graduating. A young man, leaving his mother behing but keeping her in her heart. And finally being meaningful and established in this materialistic world. But having a deep love for his mother who just wants her son.

If only it was reality. If only.

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Ryan soon spotted a woman sitting by herself. And as he got closer he saw the neverending stream of tears landing on the sweet scented grass. A warm feeling caught inside him. A comforting feeling. A queasy feeling. And suddenly the silence was broken.

"That is the mother of Jack." explained Mr. Hughes

Ryan kept walking while looking forgetting about where he was going. The grave. He just was looking. At the sky above, more thoughts and theories coming to life in his imagination. Forgetting about the crying women he bumped into her. He glanced at Mr.Hughes who was no longer walking as well. Then leaned down put his arm on the shoulder of the woman entranced in her own world.

"Sorry for bumping into you. I wasnt looking at where I was going. I am so sorry. Are you alright?"

The woman realizing someone was talking to her turned around and turned pale.

"Marissa? Marissa."

Suddenly the eyes of fear, danced with joy and she turned around and enloped him in to a hug and sobbed into his shoulder.

All she needed was a shoulder to cry on. His shoulder.


	4. Those Innocent Eyes

Mr. Hughes stepped back, "Do you know each other?"

Ryan nodded and kept his arms around Marissa's quivering back as he watched Mr. Hughes slowly walk away, giving them some time alone.Still kneeling on the ground,Ryan pulled out from the hug, and tucked Marissa's delicate hair behind her ears and placed his hands on her shoulders. She looked down.

"Riss" Ryan gulped, "Who is Jack?"

Marissa stared him straight in the eyes and let the final drops of tears roll down her cheeks. "Ryan,he is your son."

An empty feeling took over Ryan, one that was taking over his heart and churning his stomach. He sat on the floor and like a child whimprered, "Tell me the story."

"I got pregnant, five years ago. I was afraid Ryan. Afraid to tell you. Afraid of rejection. Afraid of heartbreak. So I left, got the earliest flight and left. My pregnancy was fine, but he never cried, when he was born. The silence haunts me every day, beforeJack left the world he just entered. I held his limp body in my arms, the doctor said there was nothing they could do. So I held him, and he opened his innocent eyes and stared at me. In that one glance was so many emotions. Sorrow. Hope. Faith. Love. He was so perfect Ryan. So perfect, but my angel left me and took my heart with him. My soul. My everything. I thought I could never tell you, becuase you would hurt, and couldn't bare to see anyone else I love hurt. I can't bare another loss. I feel so bad that you never got to see him, hold him, love him."

Finally Ryan spoke up, "Marissa, I don't know what my future is, but I know it is with you."

He reached for her hand, and laced his fingers through. A perfect match.


	5. Authors Note

Sorry it was so short. I know its super short, not even half a page. But I hope you like!

Thanks so much for you reviews and I will continue the story. :D

--Ryan91


	6. Another Lame Author's Note

I am sorry for another lame author's note.. but I am having a writer's block and I would really love suggestions so can you please review with your own ideas, and i will credit you for them in the beginning of the chapter i use them!

THANKS SOOOOO MUCH... i have no idea how to expand on this story! but i dont want it to be over.


	7. The Complete Truth

Ryan and Marissa lay under the thin sheets of the hotel room. Bodies bare but finding warmth in each other's arms. Each fading away from reality, and sailing into their own little world. Each seemingly at peace, but Marissa had a guilty and ashamed feeling from keeping the part of the truth from Ryan.

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A week later...

The dark clouds gathered in the sky casting a shadow on the green grass and silent, mourning people. The final words of the priest brought tears to everyone's eyes. Ryan finally stood up, ready to give his speech, to Trey's fellow friends and family.

"Trey and I had an unspoken upon agreement between each other. We stood together through bad times and hard. As a baby, he silenced my cries. As a child, he dried my tears. As a teenager, he taught me to surive the harsh life we lived. He had my trust and he betrayed it, time after time, but after all he was my brother and the love we had for each other kept us strong. The mistakes we made led to rage, but after we took a step back, the good times replaced the bad. I am not sure how his life was when he came to New York but he will be in my heart, forever. Becase that is what Trey deserves. He is what made me what I am today and I hope he is at peace in the arms of God."

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After the funeral at the hotel

A beautiful but very pregnant Summer, a slightly more mature Seth, and the barely aged Sandy and Kirsten were sitting in the living room silenty chatting with each other.

In Ryan's room...

Ryan and Marissa were getting ready to go out for dinner, they knew everyone was waiting for them but they were so in love with each other, that everyone else slipped their mind. While Ryan put on his shoes and Marissa smoothed down her hair, Ryan suddenly broke the silence and the eye contact between them. He looked down.

"Riss, do you ever think of what it would be like if Jack was alive?"

"Everyday."

"Sometimes I long for a child to hold in my arms. My child. OUR child."

Marissa bit her lip, "Ryan, I have to tell you something about Jack. The complete truth about Jack and..."

A loud ramming on the door intterupted her, Ryan slowly got up and slightly opened the door.

Sandy was standing there with wide eyes and a concerned look on his face.

"It's Summer. She is having the baby; they already left for the hospital, Let's go!"

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	8. The Lone Tear

The smell of the hospital always made Marissa feel nauxious. The medicated clean odor reminded her constantly of Jack, of how the death of one was concealed, wiped clean and unrecognizable. Marissashuddered in the hard plasic chair, but was soon comforted by the warmth of Ryan's arm wrapped around her shoulders.

"Riss," he whispered hesitantly, " you were telling me about Jack. We are going to be here awhile, so..."

"Ryan, I am sorry I kept so much from you, you should know every truth. Five years ago, I gave birth to Jack, and his brother. Older by 7 minutes. Andrew. I was so devastated by Jack's death, that I knew I couldn't give Andrew the live he deserved. I was going to be a single mom, who was still heartbroken and lost a baby. I knew he needed the best, so I put him up for adoption."

Ryan looked up heart broken, "Marissa I have forgiven you for all your mistakes. I put the past behind us, But I. We missed our son's first step. First word. I was always there for you, and Andrew, Andrew did deserve the best. But the best should've been with _us_."

And withthat Ryan silently rose and walked away. He didn't knowwhere he was going, he justneeded to get the feeling of dissapointment out of him. He was not angry. Anger played no part in this. It felt like the wrights of grief and sorrowwere dragging his heart down. A tear escaped his eye. A lone tear. That was all it tookto make his heart break.


	9. The Roomfull of Miracles

For those of you who have noticied. I posted the wrong chapter 9, it was the same as chapter one but this is the right one. There is a change I made.What do you think of the twin idea? **Andrew's name is now Alexander.**

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Ryan stood looking through the window gazing at all the bundles of blue and pink, his eyes finally settling on her. Madison Emily Cohen. The nurse recognized Ryan as the Uncle, becuase she saw him visitng Summer before, and smiled and brought out Madison for Ryan to hold. She gently placed Maddie in his arms and went back into the nursery to tend to a wailing child.

Ryan held Maddie in his arms and looked into her brown eyes streaked with amber streams. He smoothed down the little brown curl that had escaped from the blanket and watched as it bounced back up. He smiled and gazed at the baby, who was confused to what was happening around her. Ryan realized the prescence of someone beside him and looked up to see Marissa. They both gazed at Maddie, longingly and lovingly.

Marissa finally broke the silence, "Ryan, I am sorry. I regret the decision I made every day and I would do anything to take it back. Anything."

"Riss, I understand why you did it. I am hearbroken, but I understand. If we are going to find our son, we need to work together."

"Find our son?"

"I've already arranged for some help, a private investigator. He'll come to talk to you about the details and see the papers so he can find Alex for us."

Marissa's broke out into a grin, "Thank you Ryan. Thank you so much. You have no idea how much this means to me."

She hugged him and gently kissed him, carefull not to hurt Maddie in the process.

Just as Seth walked down the hallway towards them, Madison started whimpering.

"Hey man, Summer's good she just wants to see Maddie."

Ryan placed the pink bundle in Seth's arms and discovered Seth's hand was purple and swollen. He snickered and Seth glared at him as he turned to walk back to Summer's room, motioning to the nurse where he was going.

Ryan reached over and held Marissa's hand and they both just looked at the roomfull of miracles, each with hope in their eyes and love in their hearts and determination in their minds.


	10. Forever?

ths is a long chapter. This is the link for the picture that I found to describe Alexander. So you can have a clearer image.

http/ bit his lip, holding back a smile, this was it. He had been counting down the seconds and the private investigator was now walking towards him with a folder in his had. His son's fate depended on that file. He was so excited yet nervous.

"Mr. Reid" He said nodding his head, trying to collect himself.

"Hi Mr. Atwood, this is your son, Alexander David Atwood" He opened the file and revealed a picture of young boy. He had shaggy blonde hair that almost covered his eyebrows and curled slightly to the side. His eyes were aquamarine blue so bright that they lit up his face, which was perfectly sculpted. His cheeks had slight dimples when he rarely smiled; He had a cute button nose. He was perfect; so unbelievably adorable that it took his breath away. His good looks made the dirt on his face and his ragged clothes, unnoticeable.

His thoughts were interrupted by Mr. Reid's voice, "He is in California James Orphanage."

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Ryan got out of the silver convertible, and stared at the orphanage. He thought about calling Marissa, but then decided to surprise her. The building was not in its finest shape but it was covered in bright colors and had a fenced playground. Ryan swung open the door and walked to the reception.

The lady looked up from her work, and plastered a smile on her face saying, "Hi, how can I help you?"

"I'm looking for Alexander David Atwood. I'm his father"

The ladies eyes opened in shock. "Lexi. Sure I'll take you to him." As they walked down the hall the lady spoke up, "I was shocked when you asked about him, because he has been here his whole life. No one really wanted to adopt him."

"Why is that?"

"He has seen many of friends come and go and that angers him even more. He really is a sweet kid but he likes being alone. After losing so many friends, he refuses to play with anyone, except his friend Ben. Ben is younger than Lexi and is deaf in one year. Ben is often made fun of, so Alex gets violent. So, no one is keen on adopting him." They arrived at a bright red door marked "Play Room." Ryan turned the knob and stepped inside followed by the lady. The room was full of children; some were playing with cars, drawing, and playing with dolls. In the corner sitting all alone was his son, Lexi, as he was called here.

"Where is Ben?" He asked

"At the hospital, he goes for treatments regularly.'

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Ryan knelt down next to Lexi, who was piling up Jenga block into a lean tower. "Do you want someone to play with?" Ryan asked

"No."

"You can't play Jenga by yourself."

"I'm not playing Jenga. I'm building." Lexi looked up and stared at right with his big blue eyes. "Who are you?" he face not showing any emotion.

"I'm….Ryan. Can I help you build? I'm an architect."

"I don't care, if you want." So Ryan sat crossed legged next to Lexi and piled blocks onto the building Lexi started making. Every so often Ryan looked up and watched his son, his mouth curving into a small smile and then went back to building.

Finally Lexi put his blocks down and looked at Ryan with a scrutinizing look. "Why are you playing with me?" "

"I don't know. I wanted to." And they went back to building until Lexi whispered, "Thanks."

"For what?'

"Playing with me."

"It was my pleasure. Well, Alex, I think I have to go. Bye." Ryan stood up and turned towards the door.

"Wait." A voice called out. Ryan turned and stopped, Lexi ran up to Ryan and looked up into his eyes and asked, "Are you coming back?"

Ryan knelt down and took a deep breath, "Lexi. Actually, I was wondering if you wanted to stay with me. Forever."

"Why do you want me? No one else did."

"Lexi, actually I am your father."

Lexi instinctively swung his arms around Ryan's neck and hugged him tightly, showing signs of compassion that no one had seen from him. Ryan had a shocked look on his face then smiled and hugged him back and stroked his hair. And a tear slipped down Alexander's cheek and he whispered "Forever?"

"Forever." Ryan murmured back.

Forever. Lexi liked the way that sounded. Forever.


	11. Beautiful Boy

Disclaimer: I do not own the O.C or the lyrics to Beautiful Boy

I made a slight change to the lyrics.

Challenge: Find a picture of what you think Alexander looks like and email it to me at yourstrulyshreya(at)gmail(dot)com

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Ryan cradled the phone between his ear and shoulder as he dressed Alexander into his new pajamas. When she finally picked up the phone and whispered a hello, he walked into the living room in the suite of the hotel, a bit away from Lexi's squealing as he jumped on the bed.

"Hey." He greeted

"Hi" she said

He noticed the slight break in her voice and immediately knew she was crying. "Are you

Crying? Why? Are you ok?"

"I've decided that, for the best of everyone, I should say my final goodbye to Jack. He wouldn't want me grieving for this long."

"Marissa, we will both remember him and his spirit forever. And he would be happy that you are doing this. Do you want me there?"

"No. I think this is something I need to do on my own."

"Ok. Well, I'll see you tomorrow right?"

"Yes, at 7"

"Ok See you tomorrow, and Marissa I'm here for you. You know that right?"

And as she answered yes in reply, a loud thud made Ryan's head snap towards the bedroom. He ran towards Alexander who was sitting on the floor his hand on his head and whimpering. Ryan pulled him into a hug, rubbed his back to silence his cries and planted a kiss on top of his head. He then went into a crossed legged position and pulled Lexi onto his lap.

"Is everything ok over there?" Marissa asked.

"Yes, it's just the neighbors."

"Ok, well see you tomorrow. I love you."

"I love you too."

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Ryan turned to his side, sneaking one last look at Lexi body in the other king sized bed beside his, and tried to go to sleep. The tapping of the rain drops and the rushing winds lullaby relaxed him. Just when he eyes closed a loud boom of thunder erupted and he heard a sob. He got out of bed pulled the blanket of Lexi, to reveal him curled in a ball. Ryan knew he was scared so he scooped him up and placed Lexi in his bed and lay down beside him. He pulled the sheets over them both and put an arm around Lexi to make him feel safe. And the few whimpers of fear soon calmed and Lexi's breathing steadied.

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Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful Boy

Close your eyes,  
Have no fear,  
The monster's gone,  
He's on the run  
And your daddy's here.

Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful Boy,  
Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful Boy.

Before you go to sleep,  
Say a little prayer,  
Every day in every way,  
It's getting better and better,

Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful Boy  
Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful Boy.

Out on the ocean, sailing away  
I can hardly wait  
To see you come of age  
But I guess we'll both just have to be patient  
Cause it's a long way to go,  
A hard row to hoe  
Yes it's a long way to go,  
But in the meantime...

Before you cross the street,  
Take my hand,  
Life is just what happens to you while you're busy making other plans...

Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful Boy,  
Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful Boy


	12. If I Could

Disclaimer: I do not own the O.C or the lyrics to If I Could

Challenge: Find a picture of what you think Alexander looks like and email it to me at yourstrulyshreya(at)gmail(dot)com

This continues from the last chapter but it is about Marissa

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After hearing the I love you from the other line she hung up the phone as well.

She sat in the grass and took a deep breath. The sweet scent of nature tingled her senses. The chirping of the birds could be heard in the background. She let the last tear roll down her cheek and fall on the grass. She brushed her fingers over the name of the headstone and for the last time, imagined what could've been. She smiled a slight smile, and knew that Jack's minute on earth would not be forgotten and his death wont bring upon regret. She knew that she cherished the very small amount of time she had with him and she knew that he would be same in the arms of Heaven. She stood up, looked to the skies and whispered Goodbye my baby. Goodbye Jack. And she smiled and that love she had for him overwhelmed her. She closed her eyes and saw his peaceful face that was seared in her memory.

She walked away from the grave and looked back one last time. She would bring flower and bears on his birthday. She would visit sometimes but no longer would she grieve. She would only continue to love.

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If I could  
I'd protect you from the sadness in your eyes  
Give you courage in a world of compromise  
Yes, I would

If I could  
**I would teach you all the things I've never learned  
And I'd help you cross the bridges that I've burned**  
Yes, I would

If I could  
**I would try to shield your innocence from time  
But the part of life I gave you isn't mine**  
I've watched you grow  
So I could let you go

If I could  
I would help you make it through the hungry years  
**But I know that I can never cry your tears**  
But I would  
If I could

If I live  
In a time and place where you don't want to be  
You don't have to walk along this road with me  
My yesterday  
Won't have to be your way

If I knew  
I'd have tried to change the world I brought to you to  
And there isn't very much that I can do  
But I would  
If I could...  
Oh baby... mummy wants to protect you  
And help my baby through the hungry years  
It's part of me  
And if you ever... ever need  
Sad shoulder to cry on  
I'm just someone to talk to  
I'll be there... I'll be there  
I didn't change your world  
But I would  
If I Could


	13. Perfection

Disclaimer: I do not own the O.C

Thank you ZoArBaSkEtBaLl for helping me develop my idea on this chapter and giving me new ones.

Ryan and Marissa walked hand in hand on the beach. Their barefoot splashed through the light white film of foam washing up on the shore. Her pale blue dress blew gently in the breeze and as the falling sun created a glow upon her and him she smiled and leaned in for a kiss. He was wearing a suit and she never could resist him when wearing a suit. They broke apart and continued walking, every so often sneaking kisses. They finally arrived at a white tent in which a candlelit meal was prepared. And as they dined Ryan smiled at the thought of the nearness of mother and the son she longed to see. For Alex was in the tent, a part that was closed off and branched off where they were; It was filled with games and books, and as Alex tried to read his thoughts were interrupted constantly by the exciting thoughts of family. A few weeks ago he had no one, then his adoring Dad came a long and now a mother! He was excited about the thought of the union of the three and the slight nervousness of longing for acceptance was once again washed away by the thought of family and the joy it would bring him.

Ryan and Marissa had finished eating and walked towards the water once again. The crashing of the waves filled the silence between them, for no word could describe how perfect it was. Then suddenly Ryan got down on one knee.

"Marissa. I have always loved you. And no matter how many times life has pushed us apart, fate has brought us back. Together. And that's where I want to be forever. Together. Will you marry me?"

Marissa grinned in joy and laughed at the nervousness of Ryan. She kneeled down in front of him and smiled once again at his confused face.

"Yes." She whispered and they embraced falling on the sand.

Alex, tired of the long wait, knew it was past his bed time and wanted to go to sleep. So he snuck out of the tent and whispered loudly, "Daddy. Can I come out yet?" he knew not where his father was or what he was doing. So he said it again.

At the sound of the young child's voice the two broke apart. Marissa's heart stopped beating with shock. Ryan stood up and took her hand and pulled her up. They then both walked towards Alex and Ryan said,

"Marissa this is Alex. Your son."

Marissa kneeled down and put her arms around him and buried his head in the crook of her neck and shoulders. And Alex threw his arms around his mother. She whispered to him her dreams of this moment, apologies for leaving him and how much she loved him. Ryan knew that for once their family was complete.

After a while, the three walked hand in hand on the beach, just as the couple did before, with Alex in the middle. Ryan told the story of how he found Alex, interrupted by Alex's thoughts on how the two met. Marissa laughed as she watched father and son and was overwhelmed with a feeling. "Perfection." She thought, "perfection."


	14. The Short Lived Perfection

Disclaimer: I do not own the O.C

To see a picture of what Alex is supposed to look like email me and I will send it to you

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Marissa lay in bed, twisting her wedding ring around her finger. After the engagement, Ryan, Alex and herself moved back to Newport. It was for the best, and yearly visits to Jack were decided. Since Ryan was head architect for the Newport Group, it was expected for him to have an amazing house, however, it was nothing like Marissa had imagined. A red-bricked driveway led to the house. The garden was massive and around the back was a large swimming pool which connected to the heated indoor one, which was framed in glass. The house was two stories and the marble floors were heated when it got cold. A living room decorated with antiques and classic furniture took her breath away, when she first saw it. The dining area had a large wooden table that could hold the whole Cohen family. The kitchen was not too large, but had a warm, suburban feel to it. Upstairs was the den, which had a flat screen T.V, and the latest play station hooked up to it. The chairs were soft and comfortable, tempting one to fall asleep in them. Two guest rooms were on the second floor as well near the two empty room. For Ryan knew not what to do with them, and left them empty in case anything came to mind. The master bedroom was the grandest place of all. It wasn't too big, but not too small. The king sized bed lay in the middle with navy blue sheets with an oriental design on them. There were bathrooms in every room, as well. When Marissa arrived here, she was overwhelmed. This how was so perfect, in every way, and she could certainly imagine raising a family in this home and put those empty room to good use. The best part was they were minutes away from the Cohen's.

Marissa finally, and quietly, got out of bed and tip-toed out of their room, careful not to awake Ryan. As she walked out she glanced at the red numbers on the alarm clock, which read that it was six in the morning. She silently went into Alex's room, one of the former empty rooms, and sat on his bed beside him, stroking his hair. The room was now decorated with his favorite action figures and cars, as well as a single bed.

Marissa began to remember the wedding. They had flown everyone to Boston, where it was snowing. The wedding took place only months after the engagement. It took place on Christmas Eve in a glass room in a park. The snow gently fell outside, while inside the room was heated and decorated with white roses. It was an amazing wedding and Alex was the ring barrier. Jimmy's and Hailey's daughter Chloe was the flower girl and she looked adorable in her lilac dress. Summer was the maid of honor and Seth and Sandy were the best men. Marissa's dress was simple with beautiful embroidery and a classic look.

After planting a soft kiss on Alex's head, Marissa went down stairs and made a cup of hot chocolate, so she could try to get a bit more sleep. She sat on the high stools and leaned on the counter. It had been a few months since they got married and it had been overwhelming. The amount of love they had for Alex was indescribable and they both couldn't have been happier. Marissa turned her head towards the soft thudding on the steps. Ryan entered the kitchen and walked towards Marissa.

"You're ok?" he questioned

"I'm fine, I couldn't sleep. I was just thinking."

"About what?"

"About us. About Alex. About you." She said with a smile

He gave her a small kiss and took her hand and they walked towards there bedroom, hoping to get a few hours of sleep before they had to get to work. As they walked by Alex's room, the door creaked open and a pair of wide blue eyes peeked out.

"What's happening?" he whispered, rubbing his eyes and squinting towards Marissa and Ryan.

"Nothing, Mommy couldn't sleep." Marissa answered.

"You should take some Nyquil; you might be coming down with a cold." Alex said seriously. Marissa laughed and ruffled his hair and Ryan put an arm around them both and planted a kiss on the side of Marissa's forehead.

"You want to come sleep with Mommy and me?" Ryan asked. Alex nodded and Ryan smiled. So they got into the huge bed, Alex in the middle of them both. And as they shared kisses over his head, he fell asleep, silently snoring.

They were interrupted when the phone rung. Ryan groaned and Marissa smiled and picked it up. And as she tried to listen to the person speaking on the other line, Ryan continued kissing her. Until reason for the phone call was revealed and left Marissa in shock. She knew it was too perfect. She was awaiting drama, because it always sneaked in at the most inappropriate of times; she learned that from the past. Nothing, however, prepared her for this.


	15. The Single Shot

"Marissa." A voice stated

"Who is this?"

"Don't you remember me? I thought of you every day."

"Oliver?"

As she stated the name that tore her and her husband apart, the name of hatred and mistakes, Ryan head, which was buried in Marissa neck, kissing her tenderly, jerked away and he stared wide eyed and the phone.

"It's a shame I had to go away for all those years, but I have made up for lost time. By the way, your son's just adorable."

Marissa gasped and her pulse quickened, "I am hanging up." And just as she was about to put the phone down, he spoke again, stating his soon encounter.

Marissa reached for Ryan's hand and told him what had happened, Ryan go out of bed and started to call 911, worried about the safety of his family. The familiar voice boomed, as the bedroom door flew open.

"I wouldn't do that" Ryan turned phone in his hand and saw the shining black gun pointed at them all.

"Put the phone down." Ryan nodded and decided it was best to cooperate, no reason to put Alex and Marissa in danger. The phone was put down carefully.

"Nice to see you, this whole family thing you have going is cute. I am glad to see you have achieved the cliché that life has planned for you." Marissa stomach churned and she began to tear up.

Oliver ordered them to all sit on the bed and Ryan purposefully sat in front of Alex. Oliver immediately noticed this.

"Sit away from the boy. Now." Ryan moved obediently

"What are you doing? Why?" Marissa whispered

"Well Marissa, after you put me through all that pain, I realized that if the love of my life left me and caused my whole future to completely be ruined, you don't deserve to be happy." With that he walked towards the bed and kept his eyes on Alex.

"Please don't wake him up" Marissa sobbed.

"SHUT UP!" Oliver screamed banging his head with the gun

"I am tired of living in this fake world, where the only way I can have control is by holding a gun. Too bad that's the only solution." With that he brushed his hand on Alex's sleeping face, whose eyes fluttered open.

Ryan, who had been quiet all this time, knowing he would just enrage Oliver even more, was now mad.

"Don't touch my son." He said firmly.

Oliver glared and scooped up Alex, bringing him to the other side of the room. Marissa gasped and Alex rubbed his eyes, confused.

"Mommy, Daddy, What's happening?" His eyes widened at the gun in Oliver's hand and started sobbing loudly, screaming his parent's names. Ryan got up bravely, clenching his jaw, as Marissa tried to hold him back. He walk towards Oliver and took his son's hand. Oliver was now furious.

"Get back. Now. This is not pretend. I am in charge and you will do what I say." His eyes dancing with craze

Alex ran to his mother and Ryan walked back towards Marissa. Oliver took his gaze away from his for a second, making sure Marissa and Alex were not doing anything stupid. In that one second, Ryan came charging towards Oliver and a single gun shot rang out.


	16. The Blinding Lights

Because it's my birthday, I thought I would write a chapter, on this first day of my fifteenth year.

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The gun shot echoed throughout the room, and then there was silence. Ryan, holding Oliver down to the ground, looked around to see if anyone was hurt. Alex was crying on the bed, crouched down, not a scratch on him. Marissa was lying backwards on the bed, he sighed a breath of relief, thinking no one had been hurt. Then he noticed the growing red stain on her white silk nightgown, right above her heart. Ryan panicked; run to Marissa and try to help her, or hold Oliver down to ensure no other harm would be done. He knew he shouldn't move Marissa, that it would create more harm, so he pinned Oliver down to the ground and called out to Alex. Ryan realized the phone cord couldn't stretch all the way towards him, so he tried to get Alex's help.

"Lexi," he had called out. "Lexi, stop crying, please; I need you to help Mommy and me." Alex gasped for breath and his chest heaved but the tears had stopped. "Go to the phone." Ryan instructed as Alex did as he was told, "dial 911." A tear ran down Alex's rosy cheek. "Alex, what's wrong?" "I didn't learn number nine, yet." He said starting to cry again. "Don't worry, just look for the upside down six, okay? And then dial a one and a one." "Okay, Daddy, Now what?" "Tell the lady that there is a man with a gun and he has shot your mother, and your father is here and is holding the man down." Alex repeated what is father said, stuttering a bit out of fear. A few minutes later, the sirens of the police were heard and the flashing lights overwhelmed them all.

A few hours later, Ryan sat in the waiting room, after talking to the police about what had happened. Alex was lying in Ryan's lap and the rest of the family was on their way. And Ryan waited, hoping for the best, but expecting the worst.

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Marissa sat in the hospital bed, holding a healthy Jack in her arms, stroking his tiny fingers and toes, watching him sleeping. She smoothed down his dirty blonde hair, a brownish gold shade and her eyes then diverted to the awake twin. Alex was bigger, a tiny smile danced across his eyes, big and blue, wide and confused. Marissa admired her children and then noticed the steady breathing of the delicate baby on her left, Jack, had slowed. She called out for a nurse but nobody heard her. She put Alex down in the crib and carried Jack down the empty hallway, calling out in desperation. Suddenly, Jack grew before her eyes, into a six year old, a more short and fragile version of Alex, an innocent and vulnerable side to him. Suddenly, the voice she had longed to hear, spoke. "Mommy," it whispered barely, she leaned down, eyelevel with him. "Mommy," it repeated, "I understand. I understand what you have been going through, but Alex needs you. Daddy needs you. I love you but they need you more. I have you right here," he said in a much too grown up voice, pointing to his heart. "Go. Go back to them." And Marissa eyes fluttered open, the blinding lights of the surgery room confronting her. The flat line, suddenly gaining life, gaining hope.


	17. The Necessity of Exsistance

Ryan stood in the doorway of the hospital room, watching Marissa. Her tanned face was pale, making the few freckles she had stand out. Her teal green hospital gown was slightly low and showed her bandaged chest that had a tiny red stain of blood. But he had never had been happier to see her. Alive. The continuous beeping from the machine reassured him and he waited for Marissa to wake, once again. The doctor told Ryan that she had awoken during surgery and they had to immediately put her to sleep. So, Ryan waited let out a deep breath, and sat down in the chair next to the bed. Alex was sleeping on another chair on the other side of the bed, and his eyes opened slowly and he looked around him. He bit his lip when he saw his mother, and he shuddered. Afraid of losing her. Ryan glanced away from Marissa and noticed Alex's focus on her as well. And he went over and silently carried Alex back to his seat and placed him on his lap.

Ryan's arms were around Lexi and he lay back in his father's arms. They sat like that for minutes and suddenly Alex reached out and gently touched his mother's arm and whispered, "Mommy, we need you." A tear slipped down Ryan cheek, while watching the desperation of his son and the distance of his wife. Ryan swallowed and brushed the tear away. Ryan and Alex returned to their original position of watching Marissa, silently willing her to wake up. Ryan knew it was lunch time and Alex should get home and go for a shower but he didn't want to turn his back on Marissa, knowing that when, if, she woke up, she would need him. He knew, however, that Alex had to be taken care of. And he promised his son that they would come back soon. As they turned for the door, a silent whisper was heard. Both were unsure if it was real at first, but when they turned around, her eyes had opened. Alex ran to his mother and planted a giant kiss on her cheek, while Ryan held her hand that didn't have the drip in it and he laced his fingers through hers. He leaned in and gave her a gentle kiss and stroked her cheek with his other hand. "We missed you." He said simply. And Alex interjected, "Yes Mommy, we missed you a lot."


	18. The Magic Touch

Marissa crouched over the low single bed and straightened the blankets over Alex; she then sat next to him and stroked his hair away from his eyes, while Ryan was holding nine month old Madison in his arms. Summer and Seth wanted a romantic night out so the couple offered to baby-sit, knowing that the favor would be returned. The small white crib on the side of Alex's room, which was kept there for the few times Madison had come over was now covered with a light pink blanket and a had a mobile of colored stars hanging above it.

Ryan rocked Maddie to sleep in his arms, though she was hardly tired. She kept grabbing at Ryan's hair and pulling on it. Ryan just continued hushing her and telling her to go to sleep. Marissa, however, just kissed Alex on his head and whispered good night, and he fell asleep straight away. She got up and laughed at Ryan attempting to put a troublesome Maddie to sleep. She scooped up Maddie from Ryan's arms, looked sternly into her amber colored eyes and gently tugged on her bouncy brown curls, causing her to frown and Marissa and stick out her bottom lip in a pout. Marissa then rocked her to sleep, and within minutes Maddie was out cold. Ryan watched her and laughed.

"You have the magic touch" he told her when the quietly closed the door to the babies room.

"Oh do I?" She answered, kissing him on the lips tenderly.

No answer came in reply, as they were kissing passionately while walking back to their bedroom. Ryan pushed Marissa against their bedroom door his arms on either side, locking her in, still kissing. She reached for the door knob behind her and the door behind her swung out. They both stopped for a breath of air while he pulled off her tank top and her taking off his wife beater. Her arms ran down his tan and sculpted back and she tugged down the waistband off his sweats. Their tan bodies glowed in the dim light and her golden hair fell over them both as she lay on top off them both kissing in an urgent manner. Marissa slid down her small shorts and slid off the rest of her clothing and after he pulled off his boxers, both were completely naked, their smooth, tan figures entwining and they became one. The whole perfect moment happened so fast all out of passion and desire. They lay in bed, a thin white sheet covering them both, kissing softly her head in the crook of his shoulder and arm and both taking in what just happen as it was a blurred memory. One word emerged from his mouth, mumbled, but voicing their complete thoughts,

"Wow." She smiled in responses and leaned in for a kiss, the passion coming out from hiding once again. They were making out, Ryan holding himself up on top of her, while the thin sheet slid down and when things got heated up again the door swung open, Seth and Summer holding a giggling Madison while Seth shielded her eyes.   
"Oh my God." Summer said slowly, closing the door, while Ryan's mouth hung open in shock and Marissa covered hers biting her lip. Ryan rolled off of her, pulled on some boxers and the first shirt he could find, a blue dress shirt and buttoned it up halfway, while she grabbed her silk nightgown and held it closed at the top. They opened the door to their bedroom and looked at the floor like kids who did wrong.

"By now, we really should learn to knock." Seth commented

Summer defended the 'walking in' by saying that their date was over and they stopped by to pick up Madison, but no one answered the door, so they used the spare key. Marissa and Summer walked to the door chatting. "Thanks for letting me know what I'm missing," Summer whined, "Cohen's ass will _never_ look that good."


	19. Just as Atwoods Do

It's a short chapter, but I have a longer, exiciting one planned for after it.

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Every night, after putting Alex to sleep, Ryan and Marissa would lock their door and make love. The passion between them was strong and after a long day, all they wanted to do was lie in each others arms. So one night, after getting Alex to sleep, Marissa and Ryan were in their bed, naked, kissing passionately, when a knock on the door came. They both froze and listened for a voice.

"Mommy? Daddy? Why is the door locked? I thought we weren't supposed to lock ourselves in our room, in case we get stuck and then get really hungry and then we die. Are you going to die? I don't want you to die."

"Um… Alex?" Marissa called out, "We are not going to die. We will eventually but that is beside the point," she rambled.

Ryan interrupted, "What is wrong Alex?"

"Um, I know I am not supposed to, and I am a big boy, but by accident, I wet the bed." He said sniffling a little.

"Oh, don't worry, honey, I'll be out in a minute to help you." Marissa answered.

Just as she was about to get out of bed, Ryan leaned over and kissed her and sparks flew, once again. About fifteen minutes later, a call came from outside the door, yelling for help. Marissa and Ryan, feeling guilty for forgetting about Lexi, pulled on some clothes and ran outside. Alex was crying. "What's wrong honey?" Marissa asked.

"Well, you didn't come when I called you and then I thought why I don't clean it myself, so I cleaned up my bed with a towel and was wondering how to dry it." He explained, "So then I thought I could put it in the microwave and it would dry fast, but now there is a fire." He finished, crying hard. Marissa picked him up, and they both ran downstairs. Ryan ran to the kitchen, and saw the fire had spread fast. Both of them had no idea where a fire extinguisher was so they frantically called the fire department. They three of them waited outside the house, watching the fire spread throughout the downstairs part of their home. The fire was put out, but the damage was done.

Ryan smiled, a force but reassuring smile, at Marissa, who was now holding a sleeping Lexi in her arms, and she returned it.

"You realize he just burned a house down? Sound familiar?" she joked

"Well, he is an Atwood."


	20. Suprise, Suprise

Marissa stood next to the kitchen sink in the Cohen house, twirling her wedding ring around her finger. Everyone had left for work or school and Kirsten went for yogalates, so finally Marissa was alone. She walked towards the bathroom hesitantly and sighed loudly. Pushing open the bathroom door she pulled out the pregnancy test from her pocket. She placed it on the countertop and thought for a moment, biting her lip, before tearing open the box. Meanwhile, Ryan toured the familiar house, full of memories and finally turned to the realtor and nodded.

Marissa sat on the bathroom floor resting against the counter behind her, when the beeping of kitchen timer went off in her hands. She held her breath and revealed the test. Positive. Her mouth dropped in shock; she didn't know whether to be happy or scared, or both. She pulled out her cell phone, looked at it for awhile, contemplating, then dialed the, all too familiar, number of her husband. He picked up on the first ring.

"Hey Marissa"

"Hi. Listen I need you to come home early today. I have something to tell you."

"Is it a surprise?" he said with his brow furrowed

"You could say that."

"Well then I have a surprise for you too."

* * *

Ryan walked in the door with a scarf hanging out of his pocket. Marissa had a rolled up zip lock bag hiding in her purse.

"You first" she stated

He agreed, excitedly, and wrapped the scarf around her eyes and made sure she couldn't see anything. He lead her into the car and finally pulled up somewhere. She heard the creak of a gate opening and soon after a door. Ryan pulled off the blindfold to reveal a fully furnished house, but not any house, the model home. Marissa gasped and threw her arms around Ryan, a tear falling down her cheek. She kissed Ryan and started looking around the house excitedly,

Ryan grinned, "Happy tears I hope?" She nodded, not knowing how to express her happiness.

After touring around the house, the two collapsed in the master bedroom. Marissa leaning on Ryan's chest

"Do I get my surprise now?" he asked sheepishly.

She nodded nervously and pulled out the zip lock bag from her purse and unrolled it. She dangled the bag in front of Ryan face and he held his breath and pulled the bag out of her hand. His smile widened and he threw his arms around Marissa's waist and picked her up and spun her around.

"A baby, Marissa, a baby." He stated obviously as his hand lay on her stomach and his cheeks started hurting from smiling. She just grinned and laughed and pulled him in for a passionate kiss.


	21. Forever

The five year old sat on the ground twirling the white daisy in his hand. He looked to the skies and bit his lip as tears came to his eyes. Soon, however, a comforting hand lay gently on his shoulder as his mother came and cradled him in her lap.

"Cooper," she said stroking his hair, "what you thinking of."

"Forever." He answered simply.

"What about forever?"

"I want to know if they loved each other forever."

He gently plucked a white petal of the daisy. _Forever._

"Your great grand parents loved each other always. They were the rare couple you hear about who were meant to be."

"Do you think Grampa Ryan was sad when she died?" he asked pulling of another petal. _Never._

"No, honey, I think he was happy. Happy that things turned out the way they did. They had two wonderful children and they loved each other so much, and then there was nothing else they wanted. They were complete and waiting."

"Waiting for what?" _Forever._

"Waiting for the end"

"Was he happy when he got to see her in heaven?" _Never._

"I'm sure he was."

"How long was their forever?"_ Forever. _

"What's with all these questions, huh, Coop?" his Mom said smiling, "I think forever is different for everyone. You see they loved each other so much that if their forever ended, they would be happy that they got to love each other, at all."

"Do you think that they are here?" _Never._

"I think that there love is. Though they got old, their love was always forever young and that what they want us to know. That things will turn out right and not to worry because in the end, fate will lead you to what you need."

The young child nodded understandingly, and felt a tightening in his heart and he sighed, pulling of the last petal. He held his mother's hand and smiled looking back as he walked away from the heart shaped grave stone. The grass was green and the slight breeze ruffled the petals on the grass and life went on. _Forever._

The last chapter… Sorry, I just didn't see this story going anywhere, anymore. Hope you enjoyed!


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